Crouch's Wages Are Too Tall For Leeds

Like the title? I grew it myself. I won't be surprised if I'm screenshotted and trending on Twitter because my sense of humour is too confusing to understand. Anyway, back to the normal world. Peter Crouch (pictured below)

Is that Peter Crouch or Nanny McPhee?

'Crouchy' as some like to call him, has been heavily linked to the precious club that is Leeds United. However, @PhilHayYEP of Twitter reports Leeds can't afford his wages. Shoutout to Phil by the way, he seems like a great guy who I'd love to have a pint with. Or 12. Leeds have degraded themselves. Scheduled for one fall, weighing in at 168 pounds, from Northern Ireland...the affordable Kyle Lafferty!!! Sorry, he just needed an entrance. I wish blogger had music I could play in the background.

Yes, I know what you're thinking. 38 goals in 138 appearances at Rangers is a player we need, how prolific! He can run, look, listen...like a dog. He might even play catch? Who knows? If so, sign him up for a lifetime as we need it! Oh, don't we need it. Forget the goals and winning games, I'd rather pay the price of a house (which Leeds charge for season tickets)...to watch something entertaining. Sly dig at Cellino there. Don't worry, there's more where that came from.